Published on September 15, 2004 By Tracy Samantha In Humor
A Slice of Life Story

So I come home at 9:30, just in time to watch Scrubs, and Connie, after filling me in on the latest family gossip, goes to bed. But after she's in bed, and I'm in the den, she LOVES to carry on long, barely audible conversations between the two rooms. Here is just a bit of that conversation from last night.


Connie: Is "The American Race" on tonight?
Me: You mean "The Amazing Race"? Yeah.
Connie: Oh. I thought it was on Wednesdays. Will you Tivo it for me?
Me: I Tivo it every week, Ma. (short pause)Sure.
Connie: Thank you, mija. (long pause, and then she mentioned something about phones, or cable, or something I can't remember, but then the WEIRDEST segue into...) And I'm gonna buy a defibulator [sic] for the house.
Me: Uh, why do we need a defibrilator for the house?
Connie: Because you never know.
Me: Uh, why do we need a defibrilator for the house?
Connie: Because you NEVER KNOW.
Me: Why do we need a defibrilator in the house? Have we ever needed one before? Is there cause to HAVE one in the house?
Connie: Well, I'm not as young as I used to be, and you could use it.
Me: Uh, no I couldn't. I would NEVER use one of those things. (Who am I? Fuckin Noah Wiley?)
Connie: Are you telling me if I died, you wouldn't shock me?
Me: Yup.

Just a short one, today, unless I think of something else to tell y'all.

Comments
on Sep 15, 2004
very bizarre
on Sep 15, 2004
well shoot, you can just come borrow our difibulator if you need it. if you died, i'd shock you.
on Sep 27, 2004
I can't breathe! That conversation is so funny I'm literally gasping for air between my guffaws. I'm trying to look all inconspicuous but my mascara is running! Well, I'm not really wearing mascara (which reminds me, movie buffs: "Look, Honey. I've got a runner in my panty hoes. I'm not wearin' panty hoes!" - what's that from??), but you get the drift. And I can hear you with your high-pitched Carla (or is it Connie? I can't remember and I just read it) impersonation, and I lapse into convulsions. You crack me up, chica!
on Sep 27, 2004
Connie: Are you telling me if I died, you wouldn't shock me?
Me: Yup.


BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! I'm shocked that you wouldn't shock her!!!! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
on Sep 27, 2004
"Look, Honey. I've got a runner in my panty hoes. I'm not wearin' panty hoes!" - what's that from??


Pretty Woman (waiting for the lift) - "well colour me happy there's a sofa in here for two."